Sunkissed
by moon-xica
Summary: With her mother condemned to her natal land, Bella is taken under the guardianship of her father. From the warm Southwest to the Olympic Peninsula, she will come to know of the magical oddities Forks holds and remain entranced with the perilous, occult fascinations of the small town. Betwixt the heartbreak, the grieving swan will learn to dance with the mystic woodlands.


The darkest of nights were always purged with my obsession of her visage. Su mirada materna. The curls of her raven hair and her deep burning hazelnut skin, the laugh lines and wonderful childlike look in her sparkling brown eyes were becoming fainter and my desperation to go to her arms only grew. She was a beacon of hope in the sea of violent waves of disorder and discomfort. That light was still shining even now, but the water kept pulling me in. I was drowning, fighting to keep afloat.

In my exhaustion and restlessness I knew the night terrors would ensue. I went through it with my mother's close friend, Consuelo, in Phoenix while I waited for my father, Charlie, to take me to live with him. He became that new comfort I needed at the moment. A man of few words, stood tall, with a mustache I could only see a logger wear at the moment I saw him.

I did not want to put Charlie through that horrific ordeal everytime I fell asleep. No screaming, no wailing, the nonsense had to stop, I kept telling myself. But it was all my inner mind working itself out, I didn't know how to stop it. How to make the healing process quicken. It was inevitable to be tormented in the dead of the night with my mother on my mind before each slumber. I needed to tire myself out, to not sleep until I absolutely could not take being awake anymore.

"Se fuerte, mi pequeña Mari," I heard her voice. Tears just rolled from my face then at the reminder of her last words to me before she was gone. The world stopped and nothing mattered.

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep once I woke up to the shades of purple and yellow, the colors that were the abundance of my childhood. Those colors looked pale in comparison to the constant imagery of the warm browns and bright blues I was accustomed to. The soft yellow curtains were unmoving, the purple rug to the side of the queen sized bed was a slump of shades of the sunset my mother loved.

"She's gone," I said so hoarsely. I wrapped myself in the blanket and walked around my bedroom.

Charlie must have brought me here from the trailer while I slept. I had no idea how he would always have the strength to carry me like I was still a five year old that slept on the floor of the living room, back to a comfortable bed.

Tears welled in my eyes. The wet drops went down my cheeks to my chin. A slight rumble came from the outside. I looked out the window to see the rain touching all I could see. My father's cruiser, the small trailer, and the green trees all around; everything looked sleek, wet, and gloomy. I closed my eyes shut to purge the image of the world around me. And then I heard the noise of a thousand ticks above me.

The sound of thick droplets were hitting the house in every direction. It was a white hum hat would drone on for awhile. I didn't know if I would be able to stand the constant inane rhythm, let alone sleep through it as I suspected it was the noise that woke me. What would the difference make if I slept or didn't?

I would miss the sun and the dry, desert breeze of Arizona, I thought to myself. The feel of the heat on my skin. A glaring contrast to the cold floorboards I still felt through my socks. The desert southwest was my home, this was still an alien planet to me. Filled with patches of white snow and constant clouds. The sun didn't shine and when it did it was never a constant view from above. It went and stayed forever concealed.

My heart and soul would stay behind with her, my mind was stuck in the city in the middle of a sprawling vacant landscape, refusing to fill the void that was creeping up inside my core. This was my new life. I only dreamt of making the Pacific Northwest be a beautiful realm, but I felt like I would always be called back to the golden rays of sunlight and clear blue skies.

The only person in the world that could understand my pain was a man that always loved my mom unconditionally. Yet they never got around to tying the knot. Would she still be here if they did? Regardless, the outcome wasn't one I wanted to even think about, it only caused my stomach to be vacant. To turn sick and feel hot.

Being in Forks any other time of the year that wasn't Summer was strange.

Charlie would take every opportunity to teach me how to fish during those summer days. I did luckily, although I felt like I wasn't any good at it. I would normally take one of my books to read. I liked to keep Charlie company even if I was just reading. He would ask about the book, sparking conversation and the rest of the time we both were quiet. Which didn't seem to bother either of us. We were more alike than I thought that way. Now I would be living with him with some permanence.

Change is either good or bad. It can have the most tragic outcome or the most worthwhile one. I was hoping for the latter to happen. Change had the potential to alter my life completely in the wrong or right direction. I was terrified of the unknown. I wouldn't know how life for the rest of the year would be like for me here in Forks.

I inhaled deeply and exhaled, making the lump in my throat loosen. I repeated until I felt capable enough to look for Charlie. My sob fest would have to wait till tonight when I wouldn't have to hide any of my heartbreak or fear.

I made my way downstairs to find Charlie watching TV on the flatscreen in the small square of the living room. full of fishing memorabilia, baby pictures of myself and a picture of my mom when they were dating. We shared our good mornings

"I can start unpacking," I said with a lot of effort. I felt like doing absolutely nothing. But for his sake and my mother's I had to push through. My mom wasn't good with me giving up so easily, but I kept telling myself why did this have to happen to her? To me?

"You should eat first, Bella," he said so softly. He stood from the soft seafoam green armchair and walked toward the kitchen.

The aroma of food and some tea filled the air. I only noticed it as he mentioned that I needed to eat. "Okay, I'll eat." I didn't really want to eat. I wasn't hungry and the food would have no taste for me in the end.

I ate what I could with Charlie around, but he encouraged me to finish a little more of the homemade breakfast until there was nothing on the plate. He was there in my silence and waited no matter how slow I ate. The gesture touched me deeply. He was never much of a cook, and when ever I spent the summer I would be making my mother's recipes. Charlie loved the tamales, posole, tacos, and flautas.

I sat there feeling some energy back in my while he took my plate to wash. I took my bag of toiletries and decided to shower quickly before I started to rummage through the moving trailer.

My dark hair was down below my waist dripping with water. I combed through it getting the tangles out. My teeth were brushed and did my best to towel dry my hair. The routine continued as it normally would anywhere else. I put lotion over my arms and legs. My thin body was not incredibly toned. It was still soft, no hint of muscle definition. My bones stuck out more than I was used to, which brought concern to Charlie when he picked me up.

My skin was the color of the warm earth, the color of my mother and father combined. A stark contrast between the hundreds of white colored faces I would be coming into contact with around town and especially during school. The world was out of order, but the only control I had was in the things I would do to distract from such thoughts sometimes.

I tied my hair and proceeded to wear warm clothes.

Charlie took as many boxes as he could inside. Most of them were full of my books and other useful items he wanted to keep. The other boxes had photo albums, colorful folk tablecloths, my mother's huipil blouses and clothing, the tortilla warmer, the san marcos blankets, and some of her treasures and trinkets. I had taken all the important documents with me in the passenger side during the drive, which I left underneath the bed in a small red bag.

I stuffed my clothes into the old pine dresser that my dad, Charlie, never seemed to have replaced. It was stuck in time much like I was. I left some of my favorite books stacked on the floor by my bed since not all of them could fit on the bookshelf in my room.

After I finished unpacking all my belongings and saved a lot of my mother's boxes in my closet, I sighed and held some sadness locked in my heart. My stomach growled lowly.

Charlie was nearly done with his sirloin steak and I was about half way through the chicken salad and still had a decent amount of green foliage. We were at the diner after we finished unpacking, he wanted to have me around more familiar faces. I didn't object, no matter how much I wanted to.

I would probably just take my meal back home as leftovers, the whole trip felt a bit like a waste of time. I appreciated his effort to lift my spirits.

Cora, the waitress I've become acquainted with the last time I came to the diner, which felt like eons, brought over dessert. It was the berry cobbler that she mentioned my dad had every Thursday.

She looked like warm sunset, her skin radiated as such. I was glad to not be the only outsider in this town. She had laugh lines that reminded me of my mother and eyes that twinkled as if she still had a lot of joy in her life. Her coiled hair was so beautiful and voluminous that you could get lost in the patterns and twirls.

"Hope you have some room for dessert," Cora said to me smiling. She had slight freckles that formed through her nose to both her cheeks. I could only nod.

"Thank you," I said. I felt myself utter those words low, feeling a little strange. I guess I was nervous talking to someone I haven't really interacted with in few years. I wondered how bad school might be with complete strangers.

"Thanks Cora," Charlie said to her. He used a napkin to wipe off the food from his mustache. He was a lot paler than I could ever be.

"You're both very welcome, let me know if you need anything else," she smiled and walked away tending to other tables and diner goers. Charlie and I shared the rest of the cobbler in silence.

The car ride home was pleasant enough, nothing too nerve racking. I didn't want him to worry or pry so the conversation was light. He was good at not hovering too much to begin with, if he knew or at least figured he didn't need to. I asked about work, he didn't have much to say either.

_Reading Bless Me, Ultima_ brought my mind at ease. The binding was already coming off and it wouldn't be long before I had to purchase a new copy. It was the first book my mom gave me when we moved from California to Arizona all those years ago.

My bed was calling me. I slumped in and looked up at the ceiling for a while before I pulled the purple blanket over me and I was alone. Just one day at a time, I thought to myself. It won't be so bad.

I hoped with every bit of my being, even though I knew it would be in vain.

I let my need for sleep take over me for once and I fell into an abyss of dreams. My anxious thoughts weren't able to overwhelm me there in my haven that was unconsciousness.

It had been over two weeks since I've moved to Forks and life began with the same rhythm of cleaning, reading, and sleeping before my first day of my second semester of my sophomore year.

A noise came from the outside that woke me up dazed and confused. I felt the cold hardwood as I pressed my feet to the floor. I went up to the window, that's when I saw Charlie looking up. We made eye contact and he gestured at me with his arm to come down. I also saw a man on a wheelchair and an adolescent boy with long straight black hair waving at me. All three of them were next to a faded red pick up truck. I held up a finger to him and walked toward the bathroom freshen up quickly.

Minty breath and combed hair, I grabbed a yellow mustard colored coat from the closet and put on my brown combat boots. I saw my mother's clothing still stuck in a box by my shoes. I couldn't unpack those without breaking down. I carefully made my way outside without tripping down the stairs.

The morning air was brisk, there was still snow patches on the ground and a bit of ice, probably created by the cold air last night. Jacob was in a black hoodie, Billy in a patterned pullover and Charlie was in a gray plaid shirt. They weren't really all that bothered by the cold, not like me.

"Good morning," Charlie said. "You remember Billy and Jacob?" I nodded.

"Good morning," I mumbled. I always tried to add a smile after I spoke as softly as I did. I cleared my throat waving at both Billy and Jacob trying to be polite as possible to the familiar faces.

Billy Black was my father's life long friend, he would go fishing with Charlie and I sometimes. Billy and Jacob were both part of the Quileute tribe. I've never really visited the reservation, but Billy would bring Jacob over with his sisters, Rachel and Rebecca, every once in awhile to come play with me. The last time I saw Jacob he was 9 years old and I was about 10, if my memory serves me right. I think I remember something about him preferring to hang out with boys than girls. After that Billy would be the only one coming over with his daughters and that was also before he had complications with his diabetes that confound him to a wheelchair. I remember Charlie talking to me about it last summer in California.

"Bella, glad you're finally here," Billy said. "Charlie hasn't shut up about you since the day you told him you'd be coming."

"Keep exaggerating, I'll wheel you down the hill," Charlie challenged.

"Right after I ram you in the ankles," Billy said. He rolled into Charlie who just dogged the harmless blows. They make it to the street and continue horsing around. They were best friends, I don't think I've ever had one.

Jacob approached me shyly shaking his head at both Billy and Charlie. I did the same, feeling at ease that Jacob wasn't avoiding me or keeping his distance like I had cooties.

"Hey Bella," Jacob was shy in approaching me and starting a conversation. "Remember me? We used to make mudpies when we were little (with rebecca and rachel)."

I remembered him and he wasn't that same kid from before. He radiated kindness.

I nodded and opened my mouth slightly, struggling to be social. "Of course I remember," I was brave enough to speak at a respectable volume. "It's nice to see you."

"Good to see you too," he said. He looked over at both Charlie and Billy. Billy looked like he was winning.

"Are they always like this?" I asked.

"It gets worse with old age," Jacob said grinning.

I saw Charlie walking back to us and he patted the hood of the truck. It was a nice vintage looking car. Of course I knew nothing about cars other than what Charlie would way, but this truck personality. A certain charm that I didn't know cars were able to have.

"So, Bella," Charlie said. "What do think of your homecoming gift?"

"What?" I asked confused. I pointed at the truck. "It's mine?"

"Just bought it from Billy," Charlie acknowledged Billy. Billy gave me a wink.

"I rebuilt the engine," Jacob half raised his hand.

I squealed and immediately felt embarrassed, but I jumped to Charlie and gave him a tight hug thanking him. I beamed at Jacob and Billy. They were all understanding. I rushed over to the truck and got on the driver's side quickly. Jacob eagerly followed after. Charlie walked toward the house and Billy wheeled in after him. Charlie waved and left me and Jacob alone. He was forcing me to interact with different people at this point. Which at the moment left me anxious beyond belief, but Jacob wasn't menacing or cold. In fact he was quite the opposite. He felt like a sun patch on earth.

"You'll just have to double pump the clutch when you shift," Jacob instructed while he sat on the passenger side. "It gets a little stuck, but the truck itself runs fine."

I kept a mental note of that, but I still couldn't contain my amazement over what he did.

"You know, Jacob, it's amazing that you rebuild the engine. I am thoroughly impressed," I complimented him.

I finally focused on his face a little more. He looked at me as well. His russet hued skin radiated despite all the clouds. He was filling his face with more mature features. I could see the defined edge of his jaw forming and his high cheek bones were becoming more defined. The child like face was transforming to one of a teenager. His striking eyes were a deep chocolate brown, I noticed carefully because he looked right at me. He still looked like the kid I played with all those years ago, but he was definitely becoming a young man.

"It's kind of a hobby," he admitted breaking away eye contact with me, "maybe I can teach you too if you're up for it."

"Sounds like a deal," I said. There was a pause, but I forced myself to ask him, "so, do you need a ride to school tomorrow? I can take you if you would like." I was hoping he'd say yes.

"I would, but I go to school on the reservation," he answered a little disappointed. "Again, I would have liked to."

"Of course," I felt like I got punched in the stomach. "It would have been nice to know at least one person."

He looked at me for a while before continuing. I was stunned at the words that had followed.

"Scary, huh? Having to be around the pale faces," he added a little smile.

I laughed, relieved almost. Being a minority in a small town had me on edge ever since I got to Forks. I nodded incredulously.

"Charlie was a little worried about it," Jacob confessed. "He mentioned it to my dad and I kinda eavesdropped." I didn't have to forgive him, nothing he was saying seemed out of a place of ill intent.

"Then, I guess you know about my mom," I said trailing off. It stung, I didn't know how long it would sting.

"Yeah," he empathized more than I had realized. His mother has been in a terrible car accident and lost her permanently. He was younger when that happened. "I am really sorry, I'm not entirely sure what you're going through, but it always helps to talk about it."

"It's rough, as you would imagine," I'm I held tightly onto the wheel in front of me to prevent the tears from streaming down my face. "I'm just glad I have my dad."

"I'm glad he's the chief of police around here, other places aren't so lucky," Jake said. "Do you miss Arizona?"

The tension and rigidness of my muscles went away slightly. My hands fell to my lap finally releasing the hold I had on the wheel.

"I do miss it. But, like anywhere, there were- awful people," I didn't want to swear in front of Jacob. "I went to a predominantly hispanic school so I didn't feel so out of place. I didn't fit in, but I still felt like I belonged," I vented more than I would have liked to to a childhood friend. "Now I'm here. The situation is turned."

"I think you would have loved the rez's exclusivity," he had a lighter tone to his voice, his effort to cheer me up worked for the moment.

"I think so too," I sighed. "Think you can just sneak me in?"

"In a heartbeat," he said and chuckled. I laughed with him. The sensation felt odd.

Jacob and I talked for what felt like ten minutes, but it was an hour. I learned about what his sisters were up to. Rachel and Rebecca were in their senior year and would be finishing at the end of the semester. Rachel would be attending the Peninsula College in Port Angeles on a full ride scholarship, she didn't know what she wanted to do, but she wanted to do something in medicine. Rebecca still painted, which I was happy to hear. She wanted to take a break from school. Rebecca always seemed to move to the own beat of her mind. I wished I was a lot more free spirited like his sisters.

Jacob was a sophomore in high school, just like I was. Through he felt even more wiser and more mature than I was.

It was so easy to talk to Jacob. It made me a little sad that he and Billy had to leave. They had places to go and people to see, as Billy put it lightly. Jacob gave me a fist bump before leaving. I could safely say I made, well, gained back a friend.

"Don't be a stranger, Bells," he said.

"Back at you, Jake," I answered. "Say hi to Rebecca and Rachel for me."

The rest of the day I spent mostly getting my school supplies together and reading. I made Charlie lunch and dinner, again thanking him for the truck. I went to bed and read until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

I drifted into sleep and dreamt of Jacob walking through the desert with me. There was nothing in sight, but the soft beating drums I was able to hear in the distance. The dream turned into a nightmare quickly, the drums quickened their rhythm. I saw something pale run towards us menacingly, a monster. It was ivory and frightening, it was something outside my realm of understanding. Jacob called out to me to run. My legs couldn't move I was stuck in place. Everything around me became a blur. I was sinking into the ground and I fell into the abyss. Blackness consumed my vision and the only light I could see was Jacob engulfed in a circle reaching out his hand above me. The sun was getting smaller and smaller. The chalky white creature had finally pounced.


End file.
